Weekend getaway..

Yeah.. Can't wait for this weekend. But I don't really want to write about that.

There is a lot actually in my mind right now. Fuhh. Since I was a little girl, I always depend on my parents. I always refer to them when it comes to making a very big decision for myself. Deep in my heart, I always depended on them because I was too scared that I would regret my own decision. I was too afraid that if one day, I had to blame myself for the things that I decided all by myself. If I depend on my parents, at least I dont have to take all the blame all by myself. Hmm.. Childish much huhh? Yah. I know. I don't have any idea, why I refer those things in past tense though I think there are times that I still depend on them both. And I have no idea either why lately, I keep talking about them. Guess I really miss them.

When a day like this comes, having to make decisions, having to think something important over and over again. I remember those days, having my family by my sides (literally) to make decisions for me. But now that I am a big girl, I have to be independent. I am sick of people telling me that I am childish. I am sick with people reminding me how imperfect I am. I guess some people around me are sick too, of me to never satisfied with just what I have. I guess huhh?? Hmm. I know.


till then..

Distracted

My very own chart; there are few new songs and some not soo old songs that I can just enough listening to)

1. Nobody's perfect by Jessie J
2. Rolling in the deep by Adele
3. Breakeven by The Script
4. For the first time by The Script
5. Price Tag by Jessie J
6. Turning Tables by Adele
7. F**king Perfect by Pink
8. Smile by Avril Lavigne
9. Push by Avril Lavigne
10. Sing by My Chemical Romance
and the list goes on and on...

and songs that I think are either overexposed or I am just sick of these songs

1. Grenade by you-know-who
2. Lazy Song by you-know-who
3. Just the way you are by you know who
4. Mean by Taylor Swift
5. Who Says by Selena Gomez
6. Jar of hearts by Christina Perri (though this song is still on my playlists. Haha!)

Well, I'm not a big fan of you-know-who. I do not hate him either. It's just that I am sick that some people compare him to irreplaceable Michael Jackson. Duh! Well, I don't really like MJ either though. Haha!

Ok.

Till then

Homesickness

Mum: Abg mie nk kawen pas raye
Me: Ok
Mum. Along ustat tu mnggu dpn
Me: Ok
Mum: Kak murni nk tunang weekend ni. (The list goes on and on..)
Me: Ramainyerrrr. Nak kawen la. Tunang la.
Abah: Nape? Jealous?? Tunggu 3 tahun lg.
Me: Ewwww. Nape lak.
Mum: Belajar dulu. Sok nak exam tu. (Sambil ketawa)

Errr. I don't know what has gotten into both of my parents. Since when I want to marry at this very young age. I am not even 21! (ceh)

"Why want to get married so early? Why on earth want to settle down so fast? Do you really want to stay at home all the time? Cook for one guy until you die??" said a friend of mine. Haha! No comment about this.

Ok. I actually want to write about my parents. I don't know why the hell, suddenly I feel kinda homesick after talking to my parents. Since I was a little girl, I had used to be away from my parents. I don't feel homesick very often. Well, yah. I have to admit now. I MISS MY PARENTS. I MISS HOME. I MISS MY FAMILY. =(

But yeah. I won't go back home. I won't go back to Malaysia at least this year. And now. I have my own reasons. I don't want any chance to run into that someone. Though it is quite impossible to run into someone especially when I always stay at home. 

zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Ok. Enough.

Really hope I will do well for my exam tomorrow.

Hot yet brilliant Cady from Mean Girls.

Hoping to be like Cady. No need to study. Just imagine particular lesson she attended but didn't really pay attention. Yet, can still remember what the teacher has said. Awesome! (Haha. In your dream!! #Faceplam#)

Enough.



P/s; My abang mie is a playboy. Everytime I see him, his desktop keeps changing with pictures of hot and pretty girls. When we were small, we always played together when I went back to my mum's hometown. And During Eid celebration, he was the one who taught my siblings and I to light fire crackers and all. (Though our parents banned fire crackers at home). So not expecting the news that he is finally settling down. Haha
P/p/s: My kak murni is my very shy cousin who is super duper brilliant. She is a doctor. It is a surprise to hear she is getting married because I never heard anything about her boyfriend.

OK! Back to work!
 

till then,
XOXO

Smile..breath..smile..breath

Love those green highlights babe! Well, Avril is just one hot bitch.

Argghh.. Everytime, I am alone by myself, the pain comes again. I thought I won't talk about it anymore. Hmm, guess I just have to breath, smile, breath, smile, and smile again. Until I could really smile and really be happy with just what I have.

I have an exam in less than 48 hours and I really don't need anything to distract myself from study really. But here I am. Haha! Well, actually I have spent my whole night watching the latest series of America's next top model. (Well, until my friend asked to come over to makan2, then we discussed our exam paper. Which was only about like 20 minutes or so. Then we ended up watching video clips on youtube and chatting and gossiping.)

I really love this season as so full of dramas and tears. Haha! Love those two girls in finals; brittany and molly.

 They change both of their hair style just for the panel session. Brittany is looking hot with that boyish cut but this style just doesn't suit Molly. I like her with long blonde hair better. Ok. Enough! Back to work.

P/s: Why the hell, I am hearing this grenade song over and over again. Yeah. I know you have speaker and all. But please pretty please, this is a student campus, not a disco or sth. Be considerate. It's waaaayyy past midnight maannn.

XOXO

I'm not staying in my house for this whole week. And I don't have access to internet at my new place. So I wont be updating this blog.. Manage to kidnap my friend's macbook. Haha! I could die of boredom if I don't have access to internet for too long. Lucky for me, I have my blackberry to always accompany me. Haha. Just finished planning a trip to travel somewhere with my friend next month.

I talked to my lecturer back when I was in Malaysia. She asked, "Have you been traveling a lot? Go outside England?" I answered, "Sadly, I haven't got the chance to travel that far. Haha! Ok Gotta go

XOXO

The luxury of Ben & Jerry's

Forgive me for this another crap entry.

Mood: Quite Happy despite the load of works and assignments. Currently doing nothing really academically useful but healthy for emotion. Well, we all need a break. So, I grab my Ben & Jerry's ice cream (which I won't eat in my home country because its really pricey.It only costs 2pound over here!!), and sit in front of my laptop to watch the latest episode of TV series that I have been watching from the first season; Gossip Girl.

Ok. It's not that I don't have work assignment due by the end of this week. Its just that I need some time for myself. And here I am. Eating really fattening food. Haha. I deserve a treat as I didn't really eat yesterday which causing stomachache earlier this morning.

till then
XOX

Crappy craps

"Take it for someone that's head-over-heels for a Waldorf woman, even everything is not enough. (Cyrus; Gossip Girl 2011)"

Is everything is enough for me?? I keep asking myself the same question. Truth is, I don't know what is enough for me. What I really want. What I really don't want. I don't know anymore. I used to be this girl who always gets what everything she wants. But in these few years, that fact has changed. My life is falling apart. With my family, my study, my relationship, my friends, etc. Everything seems to turn their back on me. But as I mentioned before, I will never let that define me anymore. Not anymore. Ugghh.

till then,
XXO

Responsibilities, Temper, Recklessness

Sometimes we take for granted. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes we become stupid.

But life goes on. Dwelling on the past won't change today and don't let whatever happened to define you.

I'm still busy with my assignment so I can't really spend much time writing here. Till I hand in all my assignments. I won't be having much time to write. And the only reason I am still writing here is that I need a getaway. From assignments, reality etc. Writing for non-academic purpose and talking craps do make me feel better. Well. Gotta go.

Till then

Been busy..

"I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it"

Would something like this ever happen to me? One day some one would tell me that he's married. I don't know if I can ever continue living knowing he has had someone else.

till then